


Wish I Were

by modern_lover



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aang is Sad, Angst, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Because love sucks, Childhood crushes suck, Conversations, Friendship, Gen, Idk i am not good at angst, Inspired by Music, Mai is sad, One-sided Aang/Katara (Avatar), Sad, They cope together, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, Why would you ever kiss me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:28:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26852977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/modern_lover/pseuds/modern_lover
Summary: There was a numb feeling inside his heart. He wished he could forget the harsh reality of your first love.
Relationships: Aang & Mai (Avatar), Aang & The Gaang (Avatar), Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	Wish I Were

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Avatar. This isn't a 'hateful' story against the katara x zuko ship or hateful against mai or aang. I just saw an edit of the song heather by conan gray and I wanted to write it

The sunset was beautiful. There was no doubt of that, Aang looked at the sky with such bittersweet memories of the happy moments he shared with his friends. Toph with her headstrong attitude; Suki with her amazing fighting skills; Sokka with his smart thinking. And Katara. Aang's eyes dropped, the sky wasn't his sweet heaven anymore. 

His hands twitched, he wanted to run away again. At least he knew that everything will be okay now, he wasn't needed anymore. If something bad ever happened again, perhaps Sokka will send Hawky. He heard footsteps behind him, he didn't dare to look back until he heard a scoff. 

"Your first break up?" Mai, a new member of his friendship group, eyed him. 

"No," Aang said, "Well, not exactly. Long story-" 

"Who knew the Avatar rambled a lot, you fought Ozai with those stutters?" Mai was next to Aang, her robes looked dirty with ink that probably belong to Sokka. "Yeah!" Aang faked a smile. Mai didn't smile back. "You're sad." Aang quickly felt his face drop, "Is it that obvious?" He felt nervous that Katara or Zuko knew. He couldn't let them know.

"No," Mai's voice sound even more drier than usual, her stance relaxed so such. She was resting her body on the the rails of the balcony. "I know how you feel." Mai looked at the sky. A silence burned inbetween the barely friends, Aang swallowed, "Sokka told me that Zuko was your ex boyfriend." 

Mai nodded somberly, "It's ridiculous." Her hand quickly pushed her hair, "I was in love with him for so many years, and all I got was this." Mai with her opposite hand lifted her green robes. 

"I actually thought that I had a chance to be with him-" Mai's voice cut, "I was here to help you cope and now I am crying." 

Aang patted her back, "Crying is good."

Mai chuckled, "Then, why aren't you crying?" 

Aang didn't know. 

"Because she's happy." Aang tried to say with his happy voice, "I never seen her care so much for someone, and I want her to always be like that. Happy." His cheek burned with the kisses she gave him, his hand touched his lips with the two kisses she ever gave him.

"I thought I had a chance to make her fall in love with me," Aang whispered softly, "I thought that being that Avatar that she had so much faith in could've given me a chance." Aang suddenly remembered Katara and Zuko sharing a kiss, they looked so happy...

"I was just a stupid monk kid. In her eyes I was just a stupid monk-" Aang hasn't felt these feelings for such a long time, Mai patted his back now. "You weren't a stupid monk, you saved us." Aang exhaled, he couldn't dare to cry for Katara's happiness. She loved Zuko.

"Why wasn't I enough then?" Aang asked, Mai shrugged, "I wish I knew," She rubbed her arms, "Zuko claimed he loved me since we first met," A memory stung Mai, "But feelings change." Aang looked at the sky again, his sense of flight was so strong. He wanted to run away so badly and cry, but his friends didn't deserve it. His feelings shouldn't get in the way. 

Aang thought of Katara, her sweet smile and her teachings; He couldn't even find himself hating her. Not even hating Zuko. They were his family, he loved them so much yet he wished to be nothing. If he wasn't here, in this era- he would've saved the world from the first nation before it was too late, he would still have his family... he wouldn't see Katara.

"Why do I feel so empty?" Aang asked Mai, "I _want_ to know what to feel."

"You loved the wrong person." Mai replied, "It sucks." 

"I wish I never met Katara or Zuko but at the same time- I wish they'll be in my life forever. I love Zuko. I love Katara. But I feel so-" Aang was grabbed by Mai, a large hug from her was surprisingly warm. Aang returned the hug, "It's not your fault." Mai whispered. 

"Love is selfish. What you're feeling is fine, it's okay," Aang finally cried into her. Mai was quiet as Aang sobbed out his feelings. 

"Aang?" It was Katara. Mai let go of Aang as he finally saw his first love stare at him; with those same eyes he once thought meant loved him back. "Are you okay?" 

Aang nodded his head, "I'll be leaving. For a while," he enter quickly back inside, he grabbed his glider. He felt everyone looking at him, "Hey, Aang, buddy are you okay?" Sokka asked. Aang nodded. He wanted to leave. Not forever. But for a while at least. Katara and Mai followed him inside, "Aang, where are you going?" Katara crossed her arms against her chest, she was worried for him. 

He had a million thoughts in his mind; the fortune teller who said that she would marry a powerful bender; the kiss in the cave; her hugs. 

"I'm going to-" Aang was lost for words when he saw Zuko's worried expression. 

"Aang?" 

Aang cried again, "Mai, what do I do?" 

Zuko and Katara looked at the knife thrower, she couldn't even look at Zuko either. "Don't run away." She shook her head. Iroh approached him, "Avatar, are you okay?" Aang shook his head, his hand slowly lowered his glider. "No. I'm not."

**Author's Note:**

> it's kinda like I wanted it to be. like aang hates but loves his friends way too much, but at the same he hurts himself. mai understands but she keeps her emotions locked up. katara and zuko thought that aang was okay with them; mai is there because she doesn't want to be alone. it's sad (well for me)


End file.
